Who Is This For?

Well, I'm starting to wonder where my life is going.. and it isn't a pretty picture, so to speak.. I'm reading this book, "A Slice of Heaven" by Sherryl Woods.. The part that is inspiring this entry is where she's just had sex with her ex husband and is worried that he finds her fat, bc she thinks she is.. and high-tails it to the gym and finds a personal trainer.. then she says that she's doing it bc of her ex.. the trainer says that he'd rather she did it for herself.. and here's where I'm "inspired": she says that if she did it for herself, she'd have never came to the gym that day..

My motivation for this SHOULD be me.. but at this point, honestly, I don't think I'm worth the effort.. wait, before you send the outpour of love, hear me out.. Most of this journey has been half-assed.. and I'm sure you all agree.. and I've gained 2 more lbs this past week.. I need to look at losing weight as a job, aka something that I can't afford to call in to or miss.. even if it's just for strength training at my house.. I need to lose weight for the guy who will come into my life someday.. and will love the packaging as much as i do (bc right now, I hate my packaging)..

We all have motivation.. and some of you aren't doing this primarily for yourself.. maybe for your health, your kids, whatever.. and I don't think this makes us any different than people doing it for themselves.. we may need more therapy, but who doesn't need it anyways.. lol

btw, i am writing this entry from my new Droid 2.. YAY! So I apologize for any issues with spelling/spacing.. lol

Sick, Sick, Sick..

Yes, I realize that it's Tuesday, and I definitely should have done this Sunday night, if not Monday.. lol.. but I have succumbed to the inevitable..  I got sick.. :(

had to have a cute pic.. lol

So, while I had a good weekend, I did not have a good "diet" weekend.. HOWEVER, I did do pretty decent eating though.  I just had a few more carbs than I normally would.. which I knew I would..  however, my plans got changed due to time crunching, so I didn't get to go to the wedding I'd planned to go to.. but I did get my new car!!  :)

Ain't it cute?!  This is what I've been working towards for the past few months.. It's all come down to this, and thankfully I had a great experience with all of it.. It's a 2006 Kia Spectra EX.. and sadly, I've already (indirectly) put a dent into it, damn it!  lol.. driving on the interstate, with those damn semis.. stupid things losing tires.. ugh!  I got hit with a piece of rubber today on the way home.. and almost lost my lunch (what little I actually ate) when I saw what the damage was.. it's not actually too bad, once I wash off the rubber smears.. :(

my "sick" care plan.. orange soda is my saving grace when I get sick..

Okay, so when I get sick, I have certain things that I KNOW will help me feel so much better.. and they are definitely NOT on the Atkins program.. so on Friday, I plan to weigh in, take the number in stride, and then start the induction again on Friday to get back into this.. I know what I'm lacking.. exercise.. motivation.. and I know that baby steps are what is gonna get me back there.. keep moving forward.. 

I'm slowly finding the originals for the pics I want to put into my Inspiration Notebook.. I'm hoping to have it all done by Friday.. fingers crossed..  I'm hoping since it's only Tuesday that my week isn't totally "ruined".. I do plan to go to work like normal tomorrow, go to the gym afterwards (even if I can only walk on the treadmill, due to lack of breathing ability), and keep that motivation on through the rest of the week.. 

I feel so much better than what I did even yesterday.. and I get to sleep in tomorrow, so who knows how good I'll feel at 12pm tomorrow!  :)  Keeping my fingers crossed that the sleep continues to help me get over this sinus shit.. I mean, I've been so blah that I haven't even had the energy to blog..