Weigh In and a Food Review

Well, it's been a pretty hectic week for me.. so hectic that I didn't have time to post my weigh in.. so to get it on here, here it is..

227.8

I'm pretty proud of my 1 lb loss.. especially since I was having problems tracking calories a few days.. but this loss is just watching my calories, no exercise (thanks to forgetting to update my debit card information at my gym).. but I'm hoping to get out tomorrow morning, either to the gym or running outside..

So this past week has been super busy, and super stressful as I said earlier.. had my great-great-aunt die a few days ago, her funeral was today.. I couldn't get myself to go, thanks to my anxiety.. why, you may ask?! My anxiety peaked about 4 years ago, when my 26 year old cousin died from kidney failure.. I could barely go up to the casket, then I almost ran outside hyperventilating.. haven't been to a funeral since.. and prolly won't for a while.. just thinking about it last night kept me up crying for a couple hours.. ugh!

On a more positive note, I found this new food packet in my Walmart a few days ago, and after trying it tonight, I had to share.. It's called Tortilla Stuffers from Old El Paso.. I got the mesquite chicken kind, but they have two other kinds too.. it's a low-calorie food (90 calories for 1/3 cup), and I put the serving on a medium tortilla.. I had two servings, and I am pleasantly full.. the only bad thing about it is more of a personal thing.. it needs some kind of sauce, like sour cream, next time.. lol

***** I have not been paid for this review.. This review is purely my opinion, and is to be taken as just that.. *****

Well, crap..

I had this wonderful post about being inspired by people and other stuff, and I just deleted it.. ugh! Well, I'll be sure to try to repost it tomorrow.. Today has been a pretty good day, despite it not starting like I'd hoped.. and tomorrow I won't be able to run in the morning either.. luckily that will be fixed once I get off work..

I was thinking back over the past few weeks, to when I found tracking calories to be too hard.. and after doing it today, I wonder how I got so lazy.. Honestly, it's not that hard.. I look at the calorie content of most things anyways.. now I just have to make sure to put it online.. The good thing about this time around is that, thanks to my new Droid phone, I truly have no reason to 'forget' to track.. the calorie counting app is on my home screen.. so I can't miss it.. :)

I found it hard to get 2000 calories today, believe it or not.. I was afraid if I ate anything else after dinner, I'd go crazy, so I'm just staying with the 1520 I'm at now.. I'm hungry, but that's the way it's supposed to be right?!

Reboot: Day 1

Today started out with the best of intentions.. I was going to wake up at 8am, go for a run around the neighborhood I'm working in, take a shower and be ready by 11.. which is when my shift starts again (it's weird but pretty nice).. HOWEVER, my plans got crapped on by the lovely rain that decided to come in this morning.. :(

As much as I wanted to go run, I'm not ready to run rain or shine.. so I went back to sleep.. lol.. I did wake up and eat a Fiber One bar and for breakfast I ate 1 packet of sugar free maple & brown sugar oatmeal and a large apple cut up.. and I'm having a hard time finishing my apple.. lol

Well, my day is starting off generally well.. hoping for the day to continue to go well.. :)

Reboot..

Yes, I really just put that as my title.. because I want to do this with my whole weight loss journey.. Just start from scratch.. and since it's my journey, I'm going to.. lol

I weighed myself tonight and it said 228.8 lbs.. I technically am not "rebooting" until May 1st, when I will weigh in OFFICIALLY, then continue with my Friday weigh ins.. I truly hope May is a great month for me, as April sure has been a doozy.. :(

I'm not sure when I gave myself the pass to eat like shit, but I'm revoking it.. My plan?  To go as basic as necessary, and "earn" the extras like Goldfish crackers and other stuff like it.. I'm thinking Cheerios with skim milk and equal, or oatmeal , with a banana for breakfast; protein and veggie or fruit for lunch; and protein, carb and veggie for dinner.. I'm thinking for right now, I will stick with packaged stuff or sandwiches.. This way I know how many calories I am eating EXACTLY.. 

My goals for April are hilarious.. they were possible in the beginning of April, but this was before I got arrested, before the mom of my kids I babysit decided to give me two weeks off (meaning -$400 income), before my stress overwhelmed me..

 

Original April Goals

** I want to see 20? on that scale by the end of April **

I will be happy if I end April below 230 lbs..  I plan to make it to this by 

the end of June.. I think that's doable, as long as I keep my eye on the ball..

** I will NOT allow myself to "forget" my Virginia plans for the end of the month **

While I didn't "forget" my trip to Virginia, I did have to reschedule it.. I shouldn't have 

tried to do it this month anyways.. paying for tags and insurance kept me 

from saving any money for it.. let alone bail, and the lack of funds..

** I will boost my savings back up **

HA!  While this is an evolving goal for me, we all know that this 

didn't have a small chance in hell to happen.. 

** I will start trying new workouts like I wanted to in the beginning of this journey **

Yeah, I wish I could say I at least accomplished this one.. But I can't.. :(

Well, life has certainly thrown me some whoppers this month, but Sunday starts a fresh month, and I plan to strive for greatness with it.. so here's to starting over, and making the new run better than the old.. Does that make sense?!  lol

 

Baby Steps..

That's my motto for right now.. every good thing that I do to put my in the right direction is just one more baby step closer to getting back to where I want to be..

Yesterday was a good day, all in all.. I went to court and the judge (who looked like Paul McCartney, I swear) honestly looked like this case was totally stupid.. but this court hearing was just the pre-pre-trial.. basically to make sure I understand what I'm being charged with (which I'm still confused as to why bouncing ONE check=check deception), and the min/max penalties for this charge.. and then we set a date for my pre-trial.. ugh! THANKFULLY my judge thought this was kinda stupid, bc he said he recommends that i represent myself (which I was leaning towards anyways) and that the judge would most likely use my bail to pay the check and fees and that'd be it.. I'll find out tomorrow at 9am.. I hope I can come here tomorrow and say I'm done with the FC/NA courts for good.. lol

All that took about 45 minutes, and my anxiety made it pretty much a sleepy day after that.. sobI let my client know I wasn't coming and took a nap.. then woke up refreshed and did some spring cleaning.. :) THEN my friend Laina text me that she was takin her puppy walking at the lake I live next to, and I usually decline (either bc of work or laziness).. well, yesterday I joined her.. and it rained on us.. but we still did 2 laps.. and now that I think about it, I have no idea how far that is.. lmao.. I'll have to use my new MapMyRun app for it next time..

Today, I have to go to work.. I am off from babysitting for the next TWO weeks! ugh.. so I can't afford to miss anymore work.. but with all the rain we've been having, I've let myself sit on the couch and "enjoy" it.. well, today I put on my workout gear and went out to try my newly downloaded MapMyRun in my neighborhood.. I ran .65 miles in almost 9 minutes.. kinda slow, but I'm happy bc I didn't stop running.. and that's great to me.. I'm hoping to do this at least everyday.. and get my mileage up there for the 5k I'm running on Memorial Day.. :)


**UPDATED** HS asked for more details of my court issues.. so here they are.. lol

This all goes back to Sept. 2007, when i got my fur baby Sammy fixed.. I've posted pics of him before I think.. I was living on my own (with my roomie, I mean) and barely working.. they have a program down here that gives yo vouchers to help with the costs of getting them fixed, so I'd only have to pay $6.. I went to go get him, with the $6 on hand, and they told me they'd done something extra, so it'd be $26 instead.. not knowing what to do, and not having the cash on hand, I wrote a check, figuring I could get the $20 into the bank before it cleared (this is an assumption, I'm not really sure what I thought).. it bounced.. well, somewhere in all this crap, I got seriously depressed and moved back to my parents place.. I moved back at the beginning of December.. no phone calls were made, but with all the changing of addresses, I aaume the notices got lost..

I honestly forgot about the check, until the beginning of Jan 2008, when I got a letter from the county prossecutor.. I couldn't get off work to go to the court date, so they issued a bench warrant.. 3 years later, i get pulled over by an ISP officer and that's why I went to jail.. I think that's all of it.. My main issue is why they didn't just send me to collections.. that's got to be cheaper than court.. ugh!

Up In The Air

Before i say anything, I want to wish you all a Happy Easter.. hope you all spent today with loved ones.. I had to work.. still on the fence on if I'm happy or disappointed by this, as I've made killer money today.. but I missed my neice's first Easter..

Well, as my title says, I'm a little up in the air right now.. life has thrown me all sorts of tests and curveballs.. pretty sure i'm failing some of the tests, and who in the world said I could juggle?! lol.. Tomorrow is my court date.. I'll be sure to let ya know what happens.. I can honestly say I'm terrified of it, but wanting to get it over with..

Part of me wants to put the weight loss thing "officially" on the back burner (bc we all know it's been there for a while already), and figure out my life before getting back into it.. THEN, there's the rational part of me that tells myself that my life is ALWAYS chaotic and if I did that, then I'm gonna be fat forever.. so I'm putting this back to my top 5 priority list.. bc there are too many things to make it #1.. lol.. but life isn't going to go away bc I'm trying to stop being fat.. I've got to learn to accomidate, I guess..

NOTE: I feel like I've been a bad blogging buddy.. I've not been commenting on your blogs, and I feel so bad about it.. I'm hoping to work on that during the week, as I'll be more able to read blogs on my coputer.. the text is too small on my phone..

Who Is This For?

Well, I'm starting to wonder where my life is going.. and it isn't a pretty picture, so to speak.. I'm reading this book, "A Slice of Heaven" by Sherryl Woods.. The part that is inspiring this entry is where she's just had sex with her ex husband and is worried that he finds her fat, bc she thinks she is.. and high-tails it to the gym and finds a personal trainer.. then she says that she's doing it bc of her ex.. the trainer says that he'd rather she did it for herself.. and here's where I'm "inspired": she says that if she did it for herself, she'd have never came to the gym that day..

My motivation for this SHOULD be me.. but at this point, honestly, I don't think I'm worth the effort.. wait, before you send the outpour of love, hear me out.. Most of this journey has been half-assed.. and I'm sure you all agree.. and I've gained 2 more lbs this past week.. I need to look at losing weight as a job, aka something that I can't afford to call in to or miss.. even if it's just for strength training at my house.. I need to lose weight for the guy who will come into my life someday.. and will love the packaging as much as i do (bc right now, I hate my packaging)..

We all have motivation.. and some of you aren't doing this primarily for yourself.. maybe for your health, your kids, whatever.. and I don't think this makes us any different than people doing it for themselves.. we may need more therapy, but who doesn't need it anyways.. lol

btw, i am writing this entry from my new Droid 2.. YAY! So I apologize for any issues with spelling/spacing.. lol