Now, let me rewind a little and say that Chris is great.. I am not writing this entry to bitch about him, or anything of the sort.. I'm writing this to exclaim my confusion about dating in general.. And while I've been wondering this for a while (since before we started dating), I was worried that he'd read my blog (which he does.. hi, hun! lol), and get offended or whatever.. but hey, it's my blog, and I'm confused still.. so here I am! :)
So, honestly, I've been confused for years.. I never was the type to date around.. I hate putting that much effort into ONE date not to have the possibility of at least one more in the near future.. lol.. I am a monogamous person, I was raised with that kind of thinking I guess.. but I didn't date in high school (looking back at pics, I can't really say I wanted to), and it took me a while in college to get into things.. but once I did, I had fun.. but I never really dated.. yeah, I dated a handful of guys here and there, but I can count on one hand how many boyfriends I've had..
But of course, they always ended.. some I was happy about (I did the breaking up) and some I was tore up about (one guy broke up with me over a text message.. swear to God).. I'm sure I am not the only one who, at the end of any relationship, wonders what went wrong/why you broke up/what you did wrong/etc.. and then ya move on..
I've been on several dates over the past few years.. mostly bad ones, some I'm still wondering WTF about.. lol.. but I can honestly say that I'm now in a place where I am actually loving myself enough to see that someone else could actually love me.. And please hold on to the "You are lovable" comments.. I know I am.. I just believe that if you don't love yourself, you can't expect anyone else to love you either..
Wow, this entry got WAY off track.. haha.. so back to basics, what are the damn rules now?! Are things only official when they are on FB? Who says those 3 words first? Does it matter? Who pays? And do you ever switch it up? Oh, and the inevitable.. do guys REALLY expect a girl to put out on the first date now???
Whoa! That's a loaded question. I live with the thinking that each couple will make their own rules to suite them. Personally, I like to be able to pay for things. And, ah, I am a modest girl. No putting out on the first date! C'mon man! =)
ReplyDeleteHoly smokes! That is alot of questions. Keep inmind I have not dated in quite a few years but when hubby and I started out - it was official when both of you decide it is official - whoever feels them first...don't rush - he pays for the first few and then you start to share - and NO on the first date ;)
ReplyDeleteNO! no putting out on first dates! you are way too good looking for that lol... if you are dating someone who expects you to do that on your first date- move on, that's someone very immature.
ReplyDeleteHmm... interesting... I have to disagree with Baby weight... I paid for the very first date. Then we would do the classic rule, "who ever sends the invite, pays." So if he asked me out, he paid and if I asked him, I paid (that way). the 3 little words, dont and shouldnt matter who says them first. you say them when you truly feel them. I guess kris and I did things backwards... hahahaha (tmi, we ...did the dirty, on the first date) but we were also like friends. we told eachother everything and had full trust. whats the worst thing that could happen? it doesnt work out and you try again... with someone new. hahahaha things clearly worked for us, being that we got married and still are. purchased our first house together... all that mushy junk. Just do waht feels right to you, and to Chris... ((OMG You are with a CHRIS!! LOL Mine is a Kris... just a different one, clearly haha))
ReplyDeleteAwesome!!!!! :-) I'm so happy for you. Anyway... here are my rules. If it feels right, do it. Period. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Don't question your instincts. Don't worry about what you're 'supposed' to do. If you're right for each other, then the rules don't matter because you're friends and you don't worry about petty things like who does what, where, and when. :-) Good Luck.
ReplyDeleteBTW, when Tyler and I first started dating...
ReplyDelete-We did 'it' the second time we hung out
-Whoever had money paid (one of us was always broke)
-He said I love you first
-As soon as we called each other 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend', we made it facebook official.
I hate women paying for meals at restaurants, I personally would get embarrassed by it but I know that these days a lot of women probably would like to pay. I guess it's how I was brought up. I guess it's important that you both talk about it and see how you both feel and then make your own rules up which will suit you both. Following other peoples rules usually means things end in disaster lol
ReplyDeleteWell Hubs and I did the deed on our 2nd "date". The person who paid was generally the one who suggested the outing.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree that as soon as you use the term bf or gf - it should be FB "official" - LOL!
It is confusing and it's a pain in the ass to date when one is the monogamous type so if he's a keeper - then keep on being happy :>
Wow u girls are easy LOL... Well my wife and I could have done it on the first date.. she wanted to but I just coundn't do that, I told her I respected her and we were both a bit drunk, I wanted it to be special.
ReplyDeleteHS