and I'm a failure..
Let me explain, before you try to tell me why I might not be a failure.. Because I'm pretty sure most of you would agree with me.. Even if you won't say it outloud.. lol.. Just a warning, this post bounces around a bit, so bear with me, k?! :)
I have officially been on this journey for almost 11 months now.. and I've only lost 20 lbs. And while that is great in itself, I am not proud that I've ONLY lost that much.. I have made excuses so often that I am not sure when I stopped really trying.. I haven't blogged in 6 days, and I haven't weighed in this week because I know it's going to show a gain..
After much diliberation, and silent crying, I have decided that I can not go on my trip to Minneapolis/St. Paul like I had originally planned.. and I was already half packed.. :( Thanks to my denial of the stress fracture in my foot, and my monetary issues that have recently been screwed up thanks to other people, I am having to stay in Indiana and work.. Honestly, I am so pissed at the "other people" that have basically forced my hand in this.. If it had just been my foot, I'd have hobbled with the other ladies that have ailments too..
Another thing that I've decided to do is to start a new blog.. I'm planning to get my own domain name, so please keep an eye out around the end of May as I plan to start my new blog on the 1st of June.. I hope you follow me over there, and if not, I totally understand.. :) The Memorial Day weekend was supposed to be my fresh start.. I planned to take my surroundings (a healthy meeting of health-conscious people) and use it as a jumping off point, so to speak.. Guess I'll have to push myself..
My BFF, Amanda, has been losing weight recently.. I'm so proud of her.. However, a small part of me is jealous of her.. because she is getting close to my size.. SO, she talked to me today about doing a little competition.. :) We would weigh in on the 1st of June, and whoever loses the most weight each month has to buy the other one a piece of clothing (within a certain amount of money, of course).. We both agreed, so this means I have physical support/motivation around me.. yay!
The kicker in all these things?! I have been so stressed out that my body decided I needed to deal with it by getting Shingles.. AGAIN!! UGH! If anyone knows anything about Shingles, you'd know that they are the painful version of Chicken Pox.. :( My first outbreak was at 15, and I've had two now since then.. They basically tell me that I've been pushing WAY too hard for WAY too long.. yay me.. So I'm sleeping more (or trying to), keeping away from anyone that's not been inoculated for chicken pox (or had them already), and loading up on calamine lotion..
So how've you all been?
I'm proud of you for having lost 20 lbs in 11 months. Ive been on my journey since last September and I have lost 8 lbs. Trust me, I'm extremely frustrated. There are days I just want to scream but I know that my working out has made my body, and mind, healthier even if it is not showing on the scale. Goodluck with the new blog. I hope to read you there too! I'm bummed you won't be in Minneapolis next weekend. I am really looking forward to meeting everyone!
ReplyDeleteI was most successful with my weight loss when I had a competition going with a close friend too! I just love winning, so I always had to show a loss! I hope it works out that way for you too!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that you have a motivational friend/tool to help you with this process. And there is nothing wrong with losing weight at your own pace, as long as you are getting healthy for the right reasons.
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better!!
Things don't always work out. I will sure miss seeing you, but you will be with us in spirit.
ReplyDeleteYou are only a failure when you stop trying. Clearly you haven't stopped trying, life has just hit you harder when you were already down. I am glad that you have a friend who is going to be in a competition with you. That sounds like great motivation and support! Wishing you the best of luck, hopefully you will be posting your new pieces of clothing, since we all know you will win. ;)
ReplyDeleteSorry about the botched plans, it sucks when things don’t go right and it’s out of your control, it apparently makes you so upset you don’t know that losing 20 pounds is a good thing. I like your completion idea, so much so I am “borrowing” it to use with my cousin. She started to lose weight as well and I got jealous too. Happy for her, but jealous too.
ReplyDeleteI can identify with the crapiness of shingles, I have them too. Ugh! The minute I get stressed I break out. Luckily my doctor put me on oral meds that I can take when I feel an outbreak coming on..between that and calamine I can usually get over it pretty painlessly..if your not on oral meds check with your doctor..they make all the difference!
ReplyDeleteDont look at it as only 20lbs lost..look at it as youre now 20lbs closer to your goal =)