Okay, so I'm kinda having a rough day, and gotta blog it out.. so for those who don't care, please read the warning below, and decide where to go from there.. lol
** FYI: By sharing this information, I am in NO way expecting sympathy, understanding, a shoulder to cry on, etc.. This is my way of getting it out of my head and hopefully never worry about it again (that last one I'm crossing my fingers about)**
Alrighty then.. My 27th birthday is officially 30 days away.. ugh!! I never thought I'd be where I am at this age.. I always thought that I'd be married by 25 (even though I haven't dated a lot), have at least one kid by now, the same blah blah blah that everyone thinks I guess.. But no, I'm single, living with my parents (for now), and haven't been on an actual date in over a year (for some reasons as to why this is, please see 'It's a Day of Change').. I never thought my life would be like this at 27 years old..
All this self-reflection has brought up some serious issues I have with what I've done in my life.. school, sorority, weight, love (or lack thereof).. and my biggest thing I can't get out of my head is Mike.. I was thinking of changing his name, but if he reads this, at least he'll know the truth.. Little background, we went to high school together, he got in touch with me over Facebook, we started talking, and our intentions turned out to be different.. I know he didn't intend to hurt me, but it still happened.. I started to really like him.. and I got burned because of his issues (in a nut shell).. So I settled for being friends.. but I got sick of running on his time frame.. so I said goodbye..
Confused yet? I'm sorry if you are.. Basically, I wonder if I did the right thing by cutting myself loose.. I miss our random texting convo's.. I miss randomly going to movies.. I miss his voice.. and this all makes me sad.. and makes me feel like a loon because I was nothing to him.. AGH!! Crappiest part of this is he lives in the same town as I do.. so I have to see him randomly in my small ass town.. in his HOT car.. lol
I felt the same way when I turned 25...different milestones but the same kinda thing. I think we all have that "age" that does that to us. I know that doesn't really help but you will wake up on that day and hopefully realize it is just a number and it's okay that you aren't where you thought you "should" be. Life has it's way of working things out...maybe you should text someone to go to a movie.....
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