Check One More Off..

Check one more off my Year-Long Challenge list..

because I just re-joined Match.com.. well, technically I'm not paying until the new year, but I signed up and put myself out there.. now the scary part.. putting myself out there.. Eek!

So wish me luck that someone finds me interesting enough to put in the effort.. lol

Glee! and some blasts from the past..

Okay, so I'm a Gleek!  I can't help it.. It's just so awesome!  Well, at least it was.. recently it's getting more drama-filled.. and my jury is still out on whether I like it or not.. But that's not really what I wanted to let ya know about.. it's this:

my little brother, my grandma Betty, and me.. Christmas 2009

Eek!  When I found this picture, I wanted to go outside and burn the damn thing.. Just looking at this picture makes me cringe for me back then..and in looking for better looking pictures (I know I have them in here somewhere)..

Thunder over Louisville, Apr 2007

I can't wait to look like this, and better, soon!  That pic is from when I was actually happy with my body.. and for anyone who knew me (and saw me) during this time, you'll remember I used to show a lot more skin.. lol.. I got my ASSets and I knew how to show em back then.. and I will get comfortable showing some more again.. :)

Crappy Tuesday..

I love the rain.. until it interrupts my day, like it has today..

Have a headache from hell, which seems to be taking it's slow time getting done with.. :(   But last night I decided to take the day off of Shred because my body was HURTING so bad.. and I woke up today totally feeling fine (minus the headache).. So I will be back at it today, no matter what.. and while I want to go to Zumba, I think I may just rest in bed for today..

It's gonna be one of those weeks, I think.. but I'm trying my hardest to not overeat.. and so far, it's working pretty well.. :)  I'm gonna go take a nap now..

12 Days of Christmas gift swap!

Okay, so we all LOVE presents, don't we?!  If you don't, then you haven't been getting the right ones, now have you?!  So I follow Kenz at All The Weigh, and her and her girl Janna have come up with a great idea.. to send out 12 little gifties to a fellow blogger, and open them daily in the 12 days before Christmas.. Holy cow!!  I can't wait!  I love to shop, and I just don't have enough people to buy for.. lmao, that's sad.. so I'm participating..

 

 Are you??  It's pretty simple.. but all the details are at Kenzie's blog.. so check it out.. :)

I can't wait to see who my "partner" is.. I've already got 2 presents in mind for whoever I get.. lol

Oh yeah.. I posted a page about my December goals.. check em out!  :)

Almost December..

Okay, so I'm shocked that there is only 26 more days til Christmas!  Where in the world did the year 2010 go???

I'm not ready to bring in the new year.. I'm not anywhere near what I thought I would be.. and I can honestly say I'm kinda scared of Christmas this year.. the food, the ill-fitting clothes I'll be getting from my mom.. yeah, she's in denial about my weight-loss, I think.. or I just wear things tighter than she wants me to.. lol

But I am doing something new, and I'm doing monthly goals.. I'll post them once I get home from work.. and some of them have nothing to do with exercise, but with life..

Fun times will be had in December!

Day 2..

wasn't that bad.. again, with the music, it went SUPER fast..

I can't believe I gave up on this the last time.. in October.. I mean, I can't be in THAT much better shape.. can I??  I still am sore, but I am not sweating as profusely as I remember doing in October.. hmm.. interesting.. lol

So after looking online a bit, I found out that there is a Burlesque class on Feb. 21st (of course, it isn't the week BEFORE Valentine's Day.. meanies..).. and I'm SO GOING!! Maybe I can convince BB and Katie to come with me?!  It's in Louisville, Ky, which isn't TOO far to go, seeing as I live miles from anything of substance.. lmao..

I'm excited that I found one so quickly.. I thought I'd have to search for a while..

**UPDATE**

Seems that the class on the 21st is from LAST YEAR!  Duh me.. :(    So I'm going to call the dance studio and see if there are any more classes in the future..

100 Posts! Crazy!

Well, I've reached 100 posts.. and I'm sure you've read EACH AND EVERY ONE.. lmao.. well, I just wanted to come on here and tell you how great the Burlesque Soundtrack is.. I can't stop listening to it, it's so GREAT!!  Cher is fantastic (still), and Christina is great in this genre.. 

Hot right?!  Yeah, so I went and saw the movie on Saturday (after the baby shower) and I was sitting there trying NOT to dance in my seat.. lol.. just WATCHING the movie made me feel sexy.. honestly, I love movies like that.. that can make you happy just by watching them.. or sexy.. or anything better than how you were feeling before you watched it..

Now, the blogger at Fat, Angry blog (I can't find her name and I sure ain't calling her Fat.. that's just rude!) told me that they are lucky enough to have burlesque classes at the Dance Studio she went to tonight for a Bellydancing class.. and this got me to thinking about looking for one around me.. because I would SO be into that.. Zumba makes me feel limber and sexy, and I know that burlesque classes will too.. Plus, maybe it'll help me get someone like Cam Gigandet.. with his box of Famous Amos cookies (go watch the movie.. you'll get it once you do..)  ;)

Okay, so I'm off to go do my second day of the Shred and then to bed.. well, maybe finding a burlesque class in between those two things.. hehe..

Good Morning..

Today should be interesting.. for one, I'm up at 5 am.. and two, it's Sunday..

I am so exhausted, from this past week.. but I have a "new" client today, so this should be interesting.. When I get home tonight, I will do a weekend re-cap of sorts.. I just wanted to write a little somethin' somethin' about a new game I JUST HAVE TO HAVE!!

Anyone else seen the game commercials??  I can't wait to get this game!!  Honestly, I'd buy it for myself, as it's pretty cheap for a Wii game.. but with Christmas coming up, I know I can save the $40 and ask someone for it.. prolly my brother.. lol.. I mean seriously, doesn't the commercial for this look AWESOME!!

Hope you all have a great Sunday.. :)

Oh yeah..

One last thing, before I go to bed..

Thank you for all of your support and comments.. :)

Good night! 

Well, that was fun..

Okay, so I'm done with the first day of the 30 day Shred by Jillian Michaels.. and boy, do I wanna hit her.. lol.. but it wasn't THAT bad, and it went even faster because I was listening to my iPod while I was doing it.. I think it'll work pretty well to get me fitting into that dress.. 

Sabrina @ Sabrina is on the move! is eerily on the same brain wave I am.. and we've been that way for a while.. it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels the way I do.. sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.. but I'm definitely decided that I am doing the Adkins diet again on January 1st.. I'd start Monday, but that's just setting me up for failure.. 

Until then, I'm going to try to scale back my eating habits.. because I have gotten WAY to lax on what I put in my mouth.. and that isn't good at all.. I don't know how some people can diet for all their worth, but I can't.. ugh!  

Now I go to finish some iPod playlists.. some for running, some for inspiration, and some just for plain ole fun dancing music!!  :)

What songs do you listen to during your runs?  

or just to dance around to??

Well, that sucked..

Alrighty.. so all my speals about how we can make it through this holiday season without going overboard totally didn't help me at all.. and I feel like a total failure, because all I want to do right now is give up and just say FUCK IT!  (sorry, but there is no other word to use to emphasize how deflated I feel right now)

I hate that I can do this to myself.. and the funny thing is that, as I am typing this, Cher is singing 'You Haven't Seen The Last of Me' from the Burlesque Soundtrack (had to buy it as soon as I came home from seeing the movie.. which was SUPERB!!).. so it's inspiring me to "get back up" from throwing my internal floor-hitting tantrum.. lol

I tell myself I've been working so hard, but what I forgot is that I have to start working harder at some point, because while at the beginning Zumba was working to get my weight down, it ain't helping too much for the weight loss.. so I gotta start adding to it..

Which brings me to my main point (well, one of them at least... hehe).. I am starting the 30 Day Shred tonight.. because I'd love to see if I could lose enough inches to get my ass into this dress..  well, scratch that, I'd like to be HOT in it.. seeing as I can now fit into it (which is awesome! lol)..

I was supposed to wear this dress to some New Years party 4 years ago, I think.. and of course, it never got worn.. I even have KILLER shoes to go with it.. and I wanna wear it this year.. lol

So I'm off to go do the first day of this killer workout.. and then to finish making some playlists for my iPod.. like one to lift me up..

Finally!!

My Turkey day is over.. THANK GOODNESS! 

I realize this comment makes me seem like a total bitch, but for those who have been following for a while should know, I have anxiety issues.. and my family is a HUGE trigger.. while I'm not certain why, I do have my own inner ramblings to help me figure out the reasons..

I am single, living at home, and 27.. I should be married by now.. hell, at least divorced.. Idk.. it's my own shit to deal with, and my family isn't very supportive of my "issues".. like my mom, who (after having a convo with my brother and sister-in-law) expects me to know what they were talking about as I walk up and ask me a question involving what they were talking about.. and I gave her a ?ing look (it may have went with a WTH are you talking about KIND of comment).. she then proceeded to threaten to smack me across the face..

Add this to the already yipping chihuahua (who yips, not barks), the small house, and the urgent sense to get the hell away.. I was about to burst into tears.. and this is a feeling I have to deal with in most family situations.. Christmas?!  Well shit, I'm SO not looking forward to that family dynamic..

OH!  I did do good food-wise though.. :)    I'm super proud of myself.. I got some turkey, some ham, a little corn, 1 deviled egg (after finding out they are 2 pts a PIECE, I wasn't wanting them so badly.. lol), and of course, a ladelful of my mom's broccoli casserole.. NO ROLLS, NO DESSERT.. and I'm pleasantly full..  :)

I'm off to take a nap, then to start off on the fun part of this day.. BLACK FRIDAY planning.. :)

Hope you all are having a better Turkey day than I did.. ;)

Thankful Thursday..

These are just a few of the things I'm thankful for this year..

But there are things I am thankful for that I just don't have pictures for.. such as:

1. my truck..

2. both of my grandmothers..

3. DVR..

4. ALL of my friends, new and old..

5. my cell phone..

6. unlimited texting plans..

7. tanning beds..

8. for all the crazy/old/popular music I LOVE..

9. the ability to listen to my crazy/old/popular music..

10. having fun..

11. being physically able to workout..

12. being able to fit into a size 16 (and soon a size 14)..

13. my client and his girlfriend..

14. all my fur babies..

15. my digital camera..

I hope you have a great Thanksgiving, with whoever you decide to spend it with..  I know that this Thanksgiving will be different than any other before it for me.. And my mom's broccoli casserole is smelling WAY TOO GOOD!!

Drama, Drama, Drama..

FYI: This entry has NOTHING to do with weight, and everything to do with my ranting.. so if you don't wanna "listen", then please hit the back button now.. ;)

Okay, so I went out tonight.. to a bar in my hometown, which is pretty small (not many people I talk to know where it is, let alone have heard of it.. lol).. Amazingly there are 2 bars (that I know about) that are pretty popular around here.. and I went to one of them tonight to see a friend that I haven't seen in forever (and after seeing her and saying hi, I didn't see her the rest of the night.. sorry, Michelle)..

One of my friends, Cass, text me before I left for Hardy's, and told me that she was there too, so I was doubly excited to see both of them.. We'll just say that when I was asked to go, at first, I was hesitant.. I am not a big fan of this town.. I'm sorry, but I'm not.. I left twice, and still couldn't get away permanently.. and I want out still!!

And the people in this town are so petty and dramatic, you'd think they were still in high school!! WTF, people!? Can't you just leave your shit at the house, and enjoy your time away at the bar????? When I drink, which isn't often, I don't get mad, bitchy, funnier, sluttier or any other adjective.. I get more zen.. I love to people watch, to sit back and observe.. but that's how I am in "normal" life.. But I do get more protective when I drink.. I am kind of a kill joy sometimes when I think someone is getting into a bad situation.. and I'm TOTALLY okay with that..

But tonight I really wanted to hit this girl.. because as we were LEAVING, she decided to run after one of the people with us, and start talking shit.. WTF?! Now that she's leaving, you FINALLY say something to get her to beat your ass?! I'm never going back to that place.. I can't deal with all the drama.. So to all you Scottsburg Drama Queens, you can keep your small town shit to yourselves..

Thanks! :)

Battle Plans..

As I look over everyone's blogs, I notice that I am not the only one that knows to have a battle plan for these next few days.. and mine is getting more defined as I sit here at work..

One thing I did notice is how much people are upping their water intake to keep themselves from eating too much.. Now call me stupid, but I never thought about that... lol.. but I know why I didn't think about it.. because I am bad at getting all my water in.. like right now, I could prolly do some damage to a bottle of water, but I'm not getting up to grab a bottle.. :(

Well, now I am... brb..

haha.. got my water, plus some grapes! yummy! my plan is to keep to the smallest plate I can, and fill up with white meat and veggies.. and not exclude anything that i honestly want.. Like I know I can totally disregard the dessert table.. I'm not a pumpkin pie fan (gasp!), and I can have cookies whenever.. but I am going to have some of my mom's broccoli casserole, and a cresent roll or two..

My game plan is to do Just Dance or Just Dance 2 when I get home from eating.. this way I get some form of exercise.. and then to my BFF's house to meet up and nap.. lol.. our Black Friday plans?? Leave for Edinburgh at 10pm.. and shop til we drop.. hopefully we'll be done by 7am.. lol.. HOPEFULLY! I am not going with too much money, as I don't NEED that much.. and while Edinburgh has a Carter's outlet, I've got to keep away from it.. hehe..

Random fun..

A friend of mine tagged me in this game on FB, and I thought I'd post it to the Blogging world.. :) So if ya wanted to know some random stuff about me, here ya go:

1. This is seriously going to get personal, you ready?
bring it on..

2. If you were caught cheating, would you fess up?
well, that would require me meeting Ryan Reynolds or Alex O'Loughlin, because they are the only people I would cheat with.. lol.. but yeah, if I got caught I would be honest..

3. The last time you felt honestly broken?
ummm.. prolly a few months ago..

4. Are you craving something?
yep.. hehe.. but it's DEFINITELY not food..

5. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
see answer #4? figure it out.. lmao

6. Would you rather have ten kids, or none?
definitely 10..

7. What do you hear right now?
Hope talking to Carly (on Days of Our Lives)

8. Is your bed against more than one of your walls?
nope..

9. What’s on your mind right now?
anything and everything baby shower related.. and how hot EJ is.. lol

10. Are you there for your friends?
i try..

11. Last person to see you cry?
my mom..

12. What do you do when you get nervous?
i get really anxious.. and i even have panic attacks..

13. Be honest, do you like people in general?
not really.. i like the good ones..

14. How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
at this rate?! 30 (because that's my timeline for when i have them on my own.. lol)

15. Does anyone completely understand you?
nope.. hell, i don't think I understand me..

16. Do you have a reason to smile right now?
yeah.. BB just found me on FB.. :)

17. Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you?
yeah.. they eventually lost me though..

18. Would you be happier if life had a rewind button?
eh, i'd like to think so, but i'm not sure sometimes..

19. Do you tell your mum or dad everything?
no way.. my dad still prolly thinks i'm a virgin.. lmao..

20. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes?
no.. i'm around it all day anyways.. now chewing, that's another story.. eew!

21. Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone?
i hurt myself all the time, it's called klumsiness.. lol.. i hope noone hurts me anytime soon..

22. This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
yes.. he was just coming "back" into my life..

23. Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
right now, i'm thinking of the future..

24. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
most of the time, 7 hours..

25. Are you easy to get along with?
i think so..

26. Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
no way.. she's my sista and my friend.. :)

27. What was the last drink that you put in your mouth?
diet sunkist sparkling lemonade.. i'm addicted to it.. lol

28. What size bed do you have?
i have a full size.. can't fit a queen up our stairs.. :(

29. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
who starts it after they get in?! definitely not getting in until it's warm..

30. Do you like the rain?
yeah, except when i have a migraine..

31. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
that'd be nice.. especially if it was a non-family member.. lol

32. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do?
well, duh.. that's why i'm on this journey.. lol

33. Would people refer to you as a goodie goodie, bad news, or neither?
a goodie goodie..

34. Who were you last in the car with, besides family?
my client.. i <3 his car! :)

35. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
goodness, it's been a while.. i think it was Vampires Suck, and it was with Mike..

36. Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
intentionally.. no.. but inevitably.. yes.. :(

37. Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you?
oh yeah..

38. Your parents are out of town. Would you throw a massive party?
nah.. i'm past that age..

39. Do you regret a past relationship?
oh yeah.. i regret a few of them..

40. Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party?
definitely a concert..

41. Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over?
actually, i don't.. weird.. lol

42. Have you made a joke about somebody that made them cry?
i hope not..

43. Do you care too much about your appearance?
well, not too much, but ya gotta care when you are looking for someone..

44. Are you a jealous person?
not usually.. it happens though..

45. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
yep.. their for my unborn niece..

46. Do you miss anyone?
yep..

47. Last person who made you cry?
i have no idea..

48. Does your ex piss you off?
yeah.. that's why he's an ex..

49. What are you doing tomorrow?
A LOT OF STUFF!! Gonna be a busy bee.. :)

50. Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week?
haha.. no.. that's definitely not me..

51. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
well yeah..

52. Have you ever been cheated on?
yep.. it sucks..

53. Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
see answer to question #52..

54. Do you like cotton candy?
depends..

55. Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with?
not sure.. how serious we talkin?

56. Are you planning to get knocked up or knock someone up by age 17?
lmfao.. well, since that was 10 years (gasp!) ago, I think that's not applicable to me..

57. Do you have siblings?
yep, a younger brother..

58. Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?
yeah.. it's a nice thing to do..

59. How has the past week been for you?
pretty busy.. but thankfully stress-less..

60. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
yeah.. and count on too.. :)

61. What’s on your mind right now?
what all i have to do tomorrow..

62. What were you doing at midnight last night?
on here messing with my blog.. lol

63. What is your current mood?
i was feelin kinda angry, but it's gone away, so I'm pretty zen right now.. lol

64. Who was the first person you talked to today?
my mom..

65. Will this week be a good one?
i hope so.. it's almost halfway over..

66. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy?
um.. not really..

67. Who were you with last night?
in the words of Jenny, my pillow!

68. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
nope..

69. Next time will you kiss that someone?
this question doesn't make sense..

70. Who should start the kiss, the girl or the boy?
depends on the situation..

Inspiriation..

Inspiration comes in many shapes and forms.. for everyone, it's different things.. a pair of pants, someone they see in an ad, someone they want to date/marry.. something is always in the background pushing us to do better for ourselves..

And it's that inspiration that we need to keep in our heads during this food-related holiday weekend.. I'm making sure that my size 12 pair of Jessica Simpson jeans are hanging on my closet door.. those jeans are just one thing that inspires me to do good on this journey.. my lack of bigger jeans is another one.. lol.. 

So what are your plans to make it through this holiday weekend?

My plans for getting through this weekend with a loss is to eat before I go to Thanksgiving.. not a whole meal, just a little something (like a Fiber Plus bar and an apple).. and to only get a smaller plate and fill it more with protein and veggies than carbs..  And then ya got the early morning/late night shopping of Black Friday.. my goal there is to keep myself warm with tea, not hot chocolate, and bring with me my own munchies (not sure yet what, but I'm sure it'll be fruit and easy-to-store stuff) too..

Well, I'm finishing up on my Alex O'Loughlin fest, aka Hawaii Five-O marathon.. and then I'm off to the gym.. :)

WAAAAAAY Too Early..

Well, it's not really early, but seeing as I SOMEHOW didn't go to bed until 3 this morning (I swear I'm addicted to blogging, because I can't stop finding other blogs to read.. lol), it sure as hell seems like I am up too early..

Zumba is this morning, which is why I am awake this "early".. and I've talked myself into going tonight instead.. so we'll talk about that later.. But I cheated.. I KNOW!  I can't help it.. but before you go off the deep end for me (because I would for you, if it would help..) I didn't cheat diet wise.. I cheated by weighing myself.. and I'm down another .8 lbs..

226.2 lbs

I love seeing those numbers go down.. and I can honestly say that I won't be seeing them again.. It's too frustrating to basically give up food (not really, but I'm too tired to get into the deet's..), be rewarded for your hard work (because anyone who says dieting is easy needs a BIG slap to the face) and then GAIN it all back..

Okay, so I'm going back to my warm bed, because it seems as the weatherman was actually right and the cold front has arrived in Indiana.. ;)

Happy Tuesday!!

Muffin Making Monday..

and Friend Making Monday too!  Mondays just keep getting better and better.. well, as better as they possibly can get for being a Monday.. hehe

So if you read my previous post, you'll remember me saying something about making blueberry muffins.. and I made em.. I couldn't wait.. Just talking about them made me want one.. hehe..

I guess that's one thing I can't control.. the WANT for food.. but what I can control is how much, if any at all, I eat.. So I let myself eat ONE muffin with 1/2 tsp of butter.. because they just don't taste right without butter.. lol.. so that was 4 pts.. and since I haven't eaten my yogurt yet (from my food log), I figure I'm right on points-wise..  :)

Not sure if I've ever said anything about my fur-babies before, but I have 9 of them.. inside.. yeah, I know.. we get that a lot.. lol.. But one of them, Miko, decided to keep me company while I made these muffins..

He loves to be around your feet.. and he proceeded to do so the whole 16 minutes the muffins were baking.. did I mention he's HUGE?!  We call him our puppy, because he is the same size as a medium size dog.. lol.. But while I was waiting for the muffins to finish, and after Miko got bored playing with me, I figured I'd cut up some apples and look at my favorite cookbook of all time..

Onto the Friend Making Mondays.. Kenzie at All The Weigh posted a question for us to answer, so we can get to know other bloggers.. and of course, it's Thanksgiving food related.. lol

What is your favorite Thanksgiving dish?

 

My favorite dish is my mother's broccoli casserole.. she fixes it for Christmas, Thanksgiving, and usually for my birthday.. lol.. I LOVE it!!

 

 

I'm SO Hungry!!

Well, I am.. so while I feed my face with some yummy left overs (because I don't wanna cook.. lol), I figured I'd let y'all know about my day.. :)

So I am a big fan of the Diet Sunkist Sparkling Lemonade.. and I can NEVER find it when I go to look for it.. the only store I can find it at usually is about 40 minutes away.. and I'm not driving that far JUST for this stuff.. lol..  It's good, but not that good.. And that's the store that has the fresh sushi that I LOVE that never makes it to my house (I eat it while driving.. It doesn't last 10 miles.. lol)..

Went to Jay C's this morning, to get some fresh fruits, and was SHOCKED to see that they had ONE case of this soda.. I almost dropped the case of Diet Cherry Cokes I had intended to buy.. lol.. I was so excited to see that a store literally a block away from me has this stuff!  :)

I made sure to pack a bag with my gym stuff in it to take with me to work.. so I couldn't talk myself out of going straight after work.. and what did I try to do?!  Try being the key word there.. I succeeded in making myself go to the gym.. thanks to my client.. he left to go to the gym as soon as I left him.. so I felt if my client could go to the gym, my lazy ass could too.. lol

So I went to the gym.. and did a kick ass Zumba class.. I <3 this class so much.. it's never boring.. and it's always fresh because they keep the songs rotating.. I even did one today that I'd never done before (but it wasn't new to the class, from what I could tell).. 

My hot, and SUPER sweaty, self after Zumba..

But I decided to see if my Nike Shox that I have would work for this class.. and they do, to a point.. I've heard a lot of people say the same thing about Nike Shox.. that they make your feet fall asleep.. and while I wish I could go up a size, I am not getting a 11.5 so my feet won't fall asleep for a bit.. I already have clown feet.. lol..

I've used and abused these babies.. but they're still beautiful!  :)

And last but not least, my daily food log..  I am really loving doing this on here, as it keeps me honest.. 

2 Fiber Plus Bars

1 cup corn

baked potato with 1 tsp butter and sour cream

3 pcs of flank steak

1/4 cup baked beans

1/4 cup mac 'n cheese

4 oz chicken breast

   Blueberry Yoplait Light Yogurt  

24 points

It's nice to see that I didn't over eat.. plus, that's not including my activity points, which I've figured prolly works better that I don't count them.. this way I'm that much more likely to see a loss, I figure..  I'm debating over whether to make my blueberry muffins for tomorrow morning.. and maybe for a snack later tonight.. lol..  :)

Happy Monday, everyone!

Food-filled Holidays..

As we all know, the last 3 months of the year are celebrated with lots of FOOD!  

Halloween

Thanksgiving

Black Friday (because who eats good food when you are up at 3am?!)

Hanukkah

Christmas 

and can't forget New Year's Eve, a night where our diets consist of all liquids!

And as we go about our life-changing ways, most (not all, but most) of us will get side-tracked in some way, shape or form.. Is it better to know this going into the Holiday season?  Is it really helping us to just say "Eh, I knew I'd gain ____ pounds, it's okay"?  Honestly, I know I will probably do this.. and that scares me, because I did that with my birthday, and I gained 5 pounds.. which isn't cool!  So what can we do to keep ourselves accountable during this food-filled holiday season?!  

** Don't give yourself any excuses**

Just because it's Halloween (there's candy year-round people) or Thanksgiving (focus on the people you only see once a year, not the turkey you can have ANY time), doesn't mean that we should go all out and gorge ourselves.. 

** Pay attention to what you put in your mouth**

It's so easy to get to talking to someone and not realize that you've been munching on half a bowl of M&M's.. 

** Eat only until your satisfied**

I think it's natural instinct to try to eat until we are full.. some of us have had times where we don't know when our next meal will be.. but if that is not the case, don't eat until you have to unbutton that button (because that ain't attractive on ANYONE).. 

I hope that these tidbits help you, as I hope they'll help me too.. Now onto the fun question of the day..

What is the one food tradition you WILL NOT give up during this Holiday season??

Mine is Hershey's Goodnight Kisses Hot Cocoa Mix.. We drink this on Christmas Eve night while we settle down after our Christmas with my Grandma Betty.. One packet of this is 3 points.. but it has mini hershey's kisses in the hot cocoa, so I'm DEFINITELY okay with drinking 3 pts.. lol..

I Just Had to Post This..

Okay, so I finally got this done, and I was shocked!!  I've lost over 4 inches in my waist and 4 inches in my hips.. holy cow!!  My question is how I GAINED 2.75 inches in my bust?!  With the size that it was in the beginning, this is NOT a good thing.. lol.. I don't want my boobs to get bigger!  Honest!!  Oh, and I don't have my BF% on here because I can't get my scale to change settings to get it accurately.. grr!

Daily Food Log.. and Wrap Up.. (edited)

Alrighty, I just got done with my FIRST outdoor run.. and it sucked!!  It turned into a walk/run.. I realize it's a good thing to just get out there, but my asthma (which isn't around when I run indoors) makes it hard to run for very long (not even 1/4 mile at a time) and of course I don't have proper shoes right now (unfortunately I have an issue with buying MYSELF things).. so those were my obstacles, and I finished a mile in 22 minutes.. not cool, but I can live with it.. and work up from it.. :)

my beautiful flushed self after my walk/run tonight..

A body issue I have been freaking out over focusing on getting rid of is the pudge between my bra strap and my armpit.. anyone else have this pudge or is it just me? lol.. don't know what I'm talking about??  let me show ya what I mean..

Now don't get me wrong, this used to be a bigger amount of pudge.. so I'm happy it's going away.. I just don't know what will make it go away for good.. is the Wii really working my arms out that well?  Better than weights alone?  Guess I'll find out..  lol

Now onto my daily food log.. as many of you know, today was kind of a mini-challenge for me.. my goal was to not go in for seconds, thirds, or fourths.. and I did.. but just for chicken, so I consider that a challenge success..  :)

9 oz of chicken breasts 

(with a little bbq sauce ontop that I couldn't get off with a fork)

spoonful of homemade mac 'n cheese

spoonful of baked beans

2 small rolls

2 deviled eggs

diet coke

4 oz Simply Apple juice (mixed with 4 oz water)

1 serving of Chunky Sirloin Burger soup

1 cup Minute rice

    key lime pie Yoplait yogurt   

31 points

WTF?!  How did all that food end up being just the same as a meal at McDonalds??  I didn't know that chicken had so many points, honestly.. If I'd known that before (hindsight's a bitch, so they say) I wouldn't have eaten so much of it.. I figured if I were going for seconds, that would be the best option.. guess I know better for next time.  :(

But for dinner, I know I could have done worse, so I'm generally okay with my eating today.. gonna go grocery shopping tomorrow for some ingredients to accomplish one of my weekly mini-goals.. I'm hoping to cook it on Tuesday, as I'm off work..  :)

**EDITED @ 7:57pm**

Just got done doing about 15 minutes of my Just Dance 2.. not sure which game I like more, the 1st or 2nd.. Kinda wishing they could just combine them.. lol

DVRing the 60 Minutes with Mark Wahlberg (hottie!!), and now I'm waiting for the AMA's to start so I can see my favorite boy band in the world, New Kids On The Block!!  YAY!!

Quick post.. more later..

So I decided to find out about this Thankful Healthy Blogger 5k that I've been seeing a lot of on other blogs.. and I definitely wanna do it.. even if I have to wake up SUPER early to do it.. lol

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, check out A Journey To Thin's blog going over the details.. you even get entered to win a prize!!  That's ALWAYS awesome!  :)



I'm hopin to get outside in this wonderful weather and go for a run around the lake I live right next to.. lol.. we'll see how that works out.. 

Stalking vs. Following

Being stalked.. not so good..

Being followed.. AWESOME!!

At least on the blogging world, it's okay to have a lot of people who are following you.. in the real world, not so much.. lol

I just got up to my 36th follower.. and I appreciate each and every one of you.. I even try to follow back, actively.. So I decided you all deserved a little online love!  MWAH!!

Daily Food Tab..

mah dinna, courtesy of me!  lol.. my mom is in bed, so it's "fend for yourself" night at my house.. :)  Thanks to an idea I got from SOMEONE on one of these blogs I follow, I combined half a can of Campbell's Sirloin Burger soup with 1/2 bag of minute rice, and voila!  a great 6 pt casserole style dinner..

with strawberry yogurt for dessert!  yummy!!



Alright, so I said I'd start accounting for all my meals on here, hopefully to embarrass myself into not eating bad, and so I plan to start today..  here it is..

McRib Sandwich (no onions)

Medium Fries

Diet Coke

1/2 lb of Private Selection Potato Salad

1 serving of Chunky Sirloin Burger Soup

1 cup of Minute Rice

    1 Strawberry Yoplait Yogurt   

31 points

So I went over my points, which I figured I would.. and I made sure that I did 10 rounds of Just Dance songs before I ate.. so I gotta figure out how many points that gives me, so I'm not totally embarrassed by how much I went over my daily allowance (aka 26 pts)..

Okay, so I can't find my activity point calculator.. :(   I usually don't use my "activity points" to eat more, just to lose more weight..  SO I guess I'll just take these off of my weekly allowance.. which I don't like to use either.. Now, tomorrow is going to be a trial.. it's my brother's birthday celebration.. with bbq chicken with cheese on top, mac n cheese, broccoli casserole, and oreo cookie cake.. holy moly!  so I'm going to try to stay away from the mac n cheese and only have a smidge of the oreo cookie cake (which should be easy since I don't particularly like it).. lol

Question for someone..

I have been asking people what exactly NSV stands for?  And I can't remember who I asked, and don't wanna go trolling all the blogs to find the answers, so I'm just gonna ask on my blog.. lol

So help me out fellow bloggers.. 

What does NSV stand for??

:)

Christmas time is near..

and it's about darn time I put up my tree.. I usually put it up a few days after my birthday (November 7th).. but due to some money issues and my storage unit, I couldn't get it out until today.. and due to some change in plans, I got to actually put it up today!!  YAY!!

 

as you can see, my tree being in storage for like 10 months is not a good idea.. I will prolly get a plastic tree box this year for it, as I can't close the original box I have it in.. at first, when I put it together, only the top 1/3 would light up.. then as I started to spread out the branches of the middle 1/3, some of them started to turn on (idk why, but I am glad they did.. lol).. the bottom half is still not working, but I went out and bought some strands of lights, and then got to decorating the tree..

i <3 decorating my tree every year.. even if it never gets seen by anyone but me (as it's in my bedroom).. i told my mom today that I wish I had more room to decorate.. not to live in, but to decorate.. lol

all this is just the tip of the iceberg.. but because I don't have any more space to put stuff on, this is all I could put out.. for now.. lol.. I also can't wait to put all the presents under my pretty tree.. I hope my cats don't kill the tree before Christmas though..

I'm Sorry..

I'm sorry for so many things anymore.. I mean, if I were to list them out, it'd be WAY too long to read, especially on a Friday.. ;)   But right now, I'm truly sorry for one big thing that boils down to many little things.. 

I'm sorry that my anxiety has such control over my personal life..

I'm sorry I allow my anxiety to have so much control over my personal life..

I am writing this after missing out on a game night that my sorority sister was having at her (and her new hubby's) house.. I haven't seen her in years, but have kept up with each other over FB.. barely.. and seeing as I had to work on her wedding shower (and her wedding), this was going to be the first time I'd get to see her newly married self.. Plus all the other sistas I've missed seeing..

This happens a lot.. I make plans, hype myself up about it, and then I get TOO hyped up and end up flippin out about some RANDOM thing.. like what if i am a third (or fifteenth) wheel??  what if I don't know anyone else??  what if I get lost and end up really late??  that first one is a biggie for me.. I'm not big on being in the background.. because it leaves me to thinking about stuff, and that is never a good thing..

Of course, tonight wasn't the first time this kind of thing has happened.. and I've noticed a little bit of a pattern with the "incidents".. they happen when the plans are with people I haven't seen in YEARS.. my old friend Lacey, haven't physically seen her in at least 2 years, and I kept bailing on her when I would try to make plans (but there were other issues with our friendship too though)..  Most of the people I used to be friends with aren't around anymore.. either because we lost touch when I moved back home, or because I didn't want to be around anyone and they got sick of trying to pull me out of my shell..

I don't blame people for getting mad at me.. go ahead.. you'll be right behind me, giving myself an ass kicking.. all I ask for is understanding that I didn't bail on purpose.. if I could, I would be at any event I was invited to.. I would make plans with all sorts of people.. but I can't.. YET!  I just gotta keep taking baby steps to get to the place where I can go ANYWHERE to meet ANYONE and not have a panic attack.. 

I hope..

oh yeah!!

and i totally forgot to show ya what came in the mail a few days ago.. I saw it in the store and got it the next day in the mail.. I am so in love with this magazine.. :)   AND, I went out and bought a new "journal" for tracking my points.. It's so very me (all pink and purple.. lol)

 

Drumroll, please...

With no further ado, or blathering on and on (hehe), I am so excited about my weight this morning..

I weighed in at:

227.0 lbs!!

OH YEAH!!

I'm definitely super happy about this weight loss, which is a 2.6 lb loss.. say bye-bye to water weight.. but hey, I don't care if it was hair product, it was there last Friday, and it ain't no more!!

Thank you so much to all the wonderful people who left me amazing comments about keepin on keepin on..:)

I really wish I wasn't up this early though.. lol.. I'm thinkin I'm off to bed again.. hehe.. only for an hour or so.. because now that I know I've lost, I'm so going to get my nails done, because they need it SO bad.. AND I am putting my Christmas tree up tomorrow!!  I'm so excited!!  Can't wait to post pics and show you all!! :)

Happy Friday!!

Blog hop time!

Bad (Hair) Day

okey dokey.. so I woke up this morning so sleepy still (I blame the weather, as it was rainy and bleh), and after eating a little something (and checking FB and here), I went back to sleep.. lol

woke up at 12 for lunch, and sat at my computer for 35 minutes.. then realized I had to get ready for work!  oops!  I leave around 12:50 to get to Jeffersonville on time.. and today was a late day.. lol.. just to say that with my short hair cut (and my naturally curly hair), it ain't pretty when it's left to its own drying.. and that's what I ran into today.. so what did I do to fix it??

hide it with a 'boggin.. hehe..

so I wore this to work.. and I hated every minute of it, because I felt like I had a handlebar mustache on my head.. lol

but I went to work and the chiropractor, who is kinda hot (lmao).. and then went to wal-mart to buy stuff to make cookies for the game night i'm going to tomorrow night and finishing touches for my sista's baby shower..

just a little FYI, my truck is temperamental (to say the least).. and it's old, so I guess it has a right to be.. so everytime I get gas anywhere BUT shell, my check engine light comes on.. so I knew I was low on gas, but had no idea that I was so low that I'd run out of gas right before getting to the exit.. ugh!

so I spent about an hour messaging/calling everyone I could think of that would possibly help (and wouldn't have to drive too far to help me), and finally a friend of mine that I haven't seen in FOREVER helped me.. I <3 him so much for detouring his plans for a bit to help me.. so I made sure to put some of those cookies on a plate for him.. :)

I finally got home though.. :)  and now I'm stuffed on cookie dough, and wishing i hadn't licked that last spoon.. ugh!  so tomorrow is my weigh in.. and we'll see how much damage i did.. or didn't do..

Patience..

is not a virtue I claim to have..

i mean, I'm 27 years old, and I still shake Christmas presents to hopefully find out what they could be.. lol

so it shouldn't surprise anyone that I weighed myself this morning, hoping for some good news.. and boy, was it good news.. I'm down to 229.2 lbs.. and while that's only a .4 lb loss since Friday, technically on Monday I was up to 231.6 (gotta love water weight and stress).. so I'm just happy to be below the 230's.. because I'm pretty sure I would have given up if I had honestly stayed in the 230's.. 

didn't go to Zumba this morning, this weather is throwing me for a loop, but I'm packing my gym bag before work and going straight there after I get off.. :)    hopefully to get a run in, along with Zumba.. keepin my fingers crossed..

It's a Blah Kind of Day

and I'm LOVING IT!!  Especially since I get to stay home.. my client is having a "bad" day.. The storm that is taking over Southern Indiana is perfect for today.. I dunno why, but it just is..

Turned in my application today to the YMCA.. I also got to Zumba today, and stayed for Aqua Zumba class to see what it's like.. holy moly, it was difficult!  My arms are achy because of the resistance that isn't in the normal Zumba class.. and of course, they had a hot lifegaurd on duty today (and my age, so it made me that much more self-conscious).. But I couldn't stay today for Water Aerobics (so I thought) because I had to work.. After getting out of the heated pool, I got showered and dressed and then saw I had a VM from work.. 

Now to spend the day in my jammies, catch up on Days of Our Lives and General Hospital, and possibly start making my Christmas cards.. :)

All in All..

It's been a pretty good day, which I needed after yesterday.. and the weekend..

Just a recap, my weekend sucked (like normal) because of work.. I even had a new person on Friday morning, but my normal client still overrode my mind.. and not in a good way whatsoever..  I was texting my mom all morning, trying to avoid a panic attack (it didn't work).. so I had to go to the other room and call my manager, because I couldn't do this anymore.. so i put in my "two weeks" with her..

Saturday was worse, and needless to say, today I called my manager this afternoon and told her I couldn't work with my client anymore.. I mean, this woman yelled at me for EATING A DONUT!  ONE MINI DONUT!!  So my Monday started off pretty well.. and while it had it's ups and downs during the afternoon, but then I got home and went straight off to the gym.. went to Zumba and I even stayed for Pilates..  very happy with myself.. :)

On a seriously happy note, a few days ago my Zumba teacher told me about an opening at the YMCA I go to.. for a water aerobics instructor!  I'm turning my application in tomorrow morning, when I go to Zumba.. and plan to stay after to do the water classes they have, so I can see what I'm getting myself into.. lol.. my Zumba teacher has even put in a good word for me!  :)

Btw, thanks for all the comments recently.. y'all are awesome!   

Keepin Up with the "Joneses"

We all have them, don't we?  Those people in our life that inspire us to be better, then something in our brains makes us try to keep up with them?  I've recently realized (recently as in last night..lol) that I have been trying to keep up with Katie @ Finding the Thin Within... not weight wise, as we all can see I'm having issues with that right now, but blog wise.. and I find this to be stupid!  It's like I'm putting myself back into the competitive aspect of high school..

And while I appreciate her inspiration that got my butt started blogging, I've got to throw up the proverbial white flag, for my own sanity.. because I will never be as great as Katie is.. or as busy.. ;)   I am definitely not a "plate full" kind of girl.. I'm more of a "halfway full" kinda girl who thinks I can always get more later.. is that analogy dumb, or what?!  But it's the only thing I can think of.. lol

Btw, it's my TOM (yay me, as if I didn't have enough gaining issues to deal with) and I did not go to Zumba this morning.. forgot I have a chiropractic appointment and don't wanna go to it, and then work, all gross.. Here's my goals for today (in case anyone else cares):

* Go to the gym after work

* Do my Just Dance video game

* Track points

* Put food log on here

It's Party Time..

just not the good kind.. this party, is a pity party..

**WARNING**   this entry is not to get sympathy.. i just need to get it out there and maybe (if i'm lucky) get some understanding.. because I can't seem to think outside of my little bubble..

i can't seem to get out of this funk i'm in.. it's like a roller coaster (a PMS enduced roller coaster, at that).. i was watching 'ramona and beezus' tonight and i bawled at some of the parts.. like when their older kitty dies, and when josh duhamel's character digs (and later finds) a box where he kept all of the things from his high school sweetheart romance..  who just happened to be with ramona and beezus's aunt.. well, ain't that somethin'?!  right out of a damn fairy tale, don't ya think?!  *insert raspberry sound here*

i don't know where everything went so wrong in my life sometimes.. i honestly don't.. but i do know that this fat pad i've been hiding under is my defense mechanism.. i'd rather be fat and single than skinny and single.. because if i'm skinny (and in my mind, beautiful) and single, then there's GOT to be something wrong with me, right?!  so a part of me doesn't want to find out what life would be like at this age skinny..

have you ever watched 'must love dogs'??  well, you should.. because the main character, Diane Lane's character, has my EXACT name (spelled differently, but still).. and i was shocked!  while it's obviously not how my life has gone out (nor do i delude myself into thinking movies are like my life.. lol), I honestly am terrified by some of the things in the movie.. my ultimate fear is to die alone.. and it scares the crap out of me that my life is only partly in control by me.. the rest is in control by the people around me..

hope you all had a good weekend.. i'll update ya on mine tomorrow after i get back from zumba.. :)

Well, SHIT!!

Okay, so while my weigh-in isn't til tomorrow morning, I peeked a little.. and was SHOCKED!  I knew going into this weigh-in that I would have a gain.. but I figured it'd be a pound, maybe two.. wasn't counting on 5!!  Hence the title.. I want to cry so bad, as this puts me right at the 230's, and I REALLY don't want to go back there..

I should have known when my pants barely fit today that I was going to have a bad weigh-in.. So I've decided to make some drastic changes in my diet (because I seem to respond to drastic measures).. ugh!  So the plan is to go online and look up some point values for foods I eat a lot of.. and if I don't know the point value of it BEFORE I eat it, it won't go into my damn mouth.. 

Aka, no fast food.. no junk.. fruits, veggies, grains.. vitamins, and lots of water.. stuff like that.. the normal stuff.. but I can't seem to figure this whole 220's plateau I've been on for the past few weeks.. I feel like I'm self-sabotaging my diet, which is a strong possibility.. :(

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME!!  AHHHH!!  I want to be thin again.. I want to be hot again.. I want to cry right now, though.. Off to bed I go.. hoping I can dream off 5 lbs..

Today is a day of Remembrance..

I am getting teary-eyed just thinking about what I'm going to write on this entry.. I am so proud to call myself a Navy brat, and the sister of an Army man..  While I wish I could say that I, myself, was in the Navy (gotta love how plans go to hell sometimes), but that's another entry in itself.. lol

This is my brother and my sister-in-law, Robbi, walking away from the airport.. This was his final tour of duty in The War.. He went through 2 tours, one each of Afghanistan and Iraq.. And we are TREMENDOUSLY grateful for his safe return.. and all he has done (including getting married to Robbi) since coming back.. I love you little brother!!  :)

And this is my dad.. circa 2003.. He's been all over the world, been stationed in many different states, including the two me and my brother were born in.. lol

He helped fight in the latest war in Quatar (not sure where it is either).. and I'm grateful that the Navy isn't land-based.. I don't know what I'd do without him, even if we don't always agree all the time.. lol.. SO proud of his "promotion" to Grand Master Chief before retiring from the Navy..

Love you, daddy!  :)

And thank you to all of the Veteran's that are around the world.. Including all of my friends and extended family.. You know who you are!!  :)   So to all of you that are fighting, or have fought, for our freedom..

THANK YOU!!

Game Time..

I have been tagged by Gertie @ Losin' My Jelly Belly!    I LOVE these kinds of games!  They are so fun, and random.. :)   So Gertie asked 4 questions, and here are my answers..

1.  What is your favorite book?

i don't know if i have a favorite book.. i have a favorite type of books, which is romance novels.. :)

  i just can't get enough of them.. hehe

2.  Do you believe in paranormal activity?

i do.. i believe that my grandfather watches over me.. i've been in too many close calls (accident-wise) to not believe that someone is watching out for me.. but that's why i can't watch those movies because i just don't want to push my luck with my good ghosts.. ;)

3.  What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

this is a toss up for me.. i love me some ben and jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough ( i used to eat their half baked ice cream, which was new york brownie and chocolate chip cookie dough mixed together)  and then i could eat a whole gallon of rainbow sherbert, given the time.. lol   :)

4.  If you were invited to be on Oprah, what would the show be titled?

 oh goodness, i have no idea.. i would love to be on a show about transformations, ala Kirstie Alley.. have a before picture, then show up in a bikini as my "after".. lol.. that'd be awesome! 

and now, I'm to ask 4 questions of my own and tag 4 people to (hopefully) answer them.. :)   so here are my 4 tags:

Becky @ Lost and Found

Joanna @ Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman

Stephanie @ Ms. Runnin Sole

Katie @ The Great Balancing Act

on to the questions:

1. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree, where would you spend it at and on what?

2. What is one of the top 10 on your "bucket list"?

3. What is one thing you are looking FORWARD to over the holidays?

4. Finish this sentence.. "All I want for Christmas is..."

I am lookin forward to your answers! :)